First off you should never settle for less than what you want in a partner. Ever. I learned this lesson the hard way by kissing many of frogs hoping and praying they were my prince.

Second, everyone has baggage. It's just some have more than others and some have better luggage.

Now, if I am understanding this blog right you are looking for your special someone. You had someone you wanted to be your special someone but it didn't turn out how you wanted. Is that right? You want to find this person and live happily ever after.

This is just my opinion for what it's worth. I have been there if I am understanding what you are saying. You have to be right with yourself and happy alone. Not lonely but happy being by yourself. Get out of the books and live some. Do what ever it is that makes you smile, even if it's for a minute. You will get hooked on that. Then, when you are happy being by yourself, someone might come into your life. If they don't, well then you are happy with yourself anyway. You win.

Good Luck.

 

Thanks, I think you were definitely hearing me right.  Honestly I am afraid of being alone and all the hidden messages with that.  Thanks for your encouragement.  I am guessing you found your prince? 

Well, I found the guy I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I had a lot of baggage too, but when I finally was able to be happy on my own. He came into my life. I will tell you a secret. Even though I knew we would be good together, it was hard giving up the life I came to love being on my own, well with 2 sons. It made me really, really be sure he was the one to give up the peace and happiness I finally found.  It turns out making really sure doubled my peace and happiness.  We will be married 10 years this October. You will find it too.

It is scary being alone, but that's when you lean on friends or family. I'm rooting for you.

Ditto what Kelly says.

Stop looking.

The only way I can ever get over myself, my desires, my life, my lack of whatever...is to do something meaningful outside those things. 

It can be anything, like volunteering at the local food closet, homeless shelter, joining the peace corps, haha.  Whatever.

The point is to be reminded of how blessed you are right now, in this minute, even without a mate.  THEN its easier to relax and enjoy the ride...and maybe find someone to ride with along the way.

Good luck.

 

I believe happiness and contentment aren't things you can find in anyone else.  These have to come from you.  Once you manage to find this place, I firmly believe love will find you. 

As the two very wise ladies above say, being happy with who you are now is the most important thing.  And stop looking.  There is nothing more unattractive to either sex than desperation.

Good guys are out there.  Believe me, I'm one of 'em (or so my wife will have me believe). 

Thanks for all of  your support.  I am so frustrated b/c I have been trying to "find myself" for so many years now.  The sad thing is that life keeps going.  It doesn't pause for us to get it together.  I have been on this journey with someone very special to me for 3 years now.  Our lives are entangled in every way possible and I don't think I can find my way out but I don't know if I can truly find who I am while staying here. 

What exactly is it are you lookng for?  If what you have you are willing to walk away from, because you're not content, is that discontent on your side only?  Is it really the relationship, or is it because you have not reached where you want to be professionally?  You will have to ask yourself some serious questions and answer them truthfully.    [And a note, putting that green block over your response makes for a hard to read comment.]